A very tongue in cheek look at how horses can save our economy.

TO: Prime Minister Rudd

RE: Economic Recovery Stimulus Ideas

Prime Minister, it has come to my attention that you're having some challenges with theeconomy.

If I understand things correctly, we're close to a recession, consumer confidence andspending is down, credit is tight, investors are spooked, we need renewable energy, andhealth care costs are through the roof. Trillions of dollars, not to mention our future, areat stake. Prime Minister, I'm just a regular citizen, but I think I have a solution:
Give every Australian a horse.

My proposal may not make sense to you at first, but let me give you a little background.First of all, horses in Australia are a multi-billion dollar industry, and that’s just at myhouse. I suggest you have your economic advisors do a little research on the spending aroundhorse ownership. You'd be surprised, Prime Minister.

Start by visiting the tack and clothing retailers like HorseLand or SaddleWorld. Look at thevariety of goods available there. Now take into account that every horse owner, especiallyif it’s a woman, is buying not just one or two, but tons of these items. Believe me. So mythinking is that if you give every Australian a horse, starting when they reach the horse-receptive age of 10, you're going to do two things:
1. Boost consumer confidence and
2. Boost spending immediately
3. And that’s just the clothing for the horse. Don't get me started on the clothing for therider, even if he or she doesn't show. Since most Australians don’t have a basic ridingwardrobe, the stores would be swamped for jeans, boots, breeches, T-shirts, dozens of pairsof cute boot socks, and the ubiquitous ball cap. Tell the retailers to get ready. It'll beChristmas all year long.

Now let’s talk about support industries. In addition to the usual veterinarian and farrierexpenditures, people also give their horses chiropractic, massage and acupuncture, not tomention buying more beauty products for their horses than they do for themselves. All thoseprofessions and industries will benefit. And of course there will be a big spike in hay andgrain demand, so the farmers will be happy too.

You see, that’s the secret to jump-starting consumer spending through my stimulus package.People will spend money on their horses when they won’t spend money on anything else.

But, your advisors might say, there’s a catch. Aren't we paying the price, in globalwarming, of the large number of livestock animals we currently have? They produce all thatmethane!

Ah, Prime Minister, here is the real beauty of this idea. When you introduce the Methane-Assisted Natural Unrefined Renewable Energy plan (M.A.N.U.R.E.), you'll be a hero for comingup with an alternative, renewable, home-grown source of clean energy. Just challenge theenergy gurus to come up with a methane gas collection system that can harness all thenatural resource produced by all those horses to power our cities. Talk about shovel ready-projects: M.A.N.U.R.E. fits the bill!

And you keep stressing how we need new industries for investment; well, under theM.A.N.U.R.E. plan you can sell Petroleum Offset Opportunity (P.O.O.) units to investors. Bybuying these units, investors can help us gradually convert from a petroleum-based economyto one based on horse (P.O.O.).

Health care costs will go down, too, as everyone cares for their horses. Youcan give tax credits based on the amount of time people spend working, riding and hangingout with their horses, which will automatically make them healthier. (Don't tell the docs,but most horse owners already get their own basic healthcare from their vet.)

One more thing: everyone is annoyed by these corporate CEOs and their big bonuses in a downeconomy. So give the executives, say, one horse for every $100,000 of bonus money they'vereceived. Those bonuses will be ploughed back into the economy in no time.

Finally, because you, Mrs. R, and the family are such role models, you can encourage us allby getting a family horse for you and the kids. It will teach them responsibility, help MrsR. plough the garden, and as a bonus: free fertilizer for the garden at The Lodge.

If you don't believe me that horse ownership stimulates spending, go ahead, Prime Minister.Buy that horse for your family. You’ll see.

Republished with kind permission of www.englishhabit.com

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